really, i can't describe exactly what i feel right now. even i know the truth, the only thing that i wanna do is to pretend that i don't know anything about that. but once again, i can't do anything.
one side my heart don't want to know and to hear anything about him. but the other side there are a big desire to know what is he doing today, is he still at his house, etc.
i can't controll this anxiety. maybe this is the only one way to show my feeling. of course not directly but i think this is the best way that i can do now :')
and, now.. after i know all thing about him, after i know that he "knows" me, i am really dying to know what his feeling, what he thinks about me. and it gives me a new sensation whenever i meet him.
sometimes, i really wanna see him: do not care whether his back or just see his shoes. and sometimes when i directly meet him, i feel like my heart after runs for a kilometer: and i can't stares at him, i just see other things right beside me and pretend that I DONT SEE HIM!! yeah, i can't see him :"
And now, after i know that he has new relationship with a girl, i don't know what i have to do. again.
should i still keep holding on or is this the time for me to stop?
but i don't have a reason why i have to forget him. i don't have. he doesnt have a thing that make me hate him. it just my feeling! and he shouldnt be blame about my condition.
should i still keep holding on or is this the time for me to stop?
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